Numbers scare me.
For future generations of readers, be aware that this article is publishing on the last day of January, 2025. We live in uncertain times: Donald Trump is now president, and nobody knows what that crazy funster is gonna do next. Decades of corporate greed have impacted the world in unprecedented ways, so blizzards and fires are ravaging the land. And, for some reason, the local Big Lots closed, and now I have no real idea where I am going to buy discount cereal anymore. We are living in an uncertain Hell.
But we do know one thing: Nintendo will be releasing a new videogame system. We do not yet have many details, but we are getting a preview in April. Also, we know for certain it will be called the Nintendo Switch 2.
This is the first time in Nintendo history that a new Nintendo system will simply be “(Name of Last Thing) 2”. And, relatedly, I hate that.
To be absolutely clear: I get it. Nintendo has a history of game systems with confusing naming schemes being their greatest failures. The WiiU springs immediately to mind, and much of its ruin is blamed on an audience having no idea if it was a new system, an upgrade, or even just a novelty controller. Similarly, the Virtual Boy was clearly its own thing, but the implication it was portable like the Game Boy (it was about as transportable as a CRT TV) or “Virtual Reality” like something out of Lawnmower Man (I assure you, that reference made sense to people at the time) was a misnomer for something that would have more appropriately been named The Reddening. And even when confusing names were successful (the 2DS is technically a descendant of the 3DS, not its ancestor), they seemed to flourish on external factors like “price points” or “helps to trade Pokémon”. Nobody wants to see another Nintendo 64 measuring bits no one cared about (apparently), so Nintendo is going with the simple, concise, and easily logo’d Nintendo Switch 2.
But speaking as someone who buys videogame hardware like some presidents rack up felonies, I have my reservations. As has been mentioned before: I do not see purchasing new hardware as a glorious gateway to a better future; I see it as a failure. And the Playstation is a big reason for that! My glasses-clad peepers have barely been able to discern graphical upgrades since the Playstation 2. And Sony’s easy numbering system immediately reminds me that that was three whole console generations back now! Do I objectively know the Playstation 5 is better hardware than the Playstation 3? Yes, but only technically. I can imagine the purpose of raytracing, but I know for certain the only reason I have a Playstation 5 is that it was the only way to play the latest Final Fantasy titles. And it is not just videogame hardware! My current mobile phone is a Pixel 8. Before that, I had a Pixel 6. Before that, it was the Pixel 4. Yes, this chain follows even numbers all the way back to the original Google Pixel. And do I think my Pixel 8 is appreciably better than that ancient (2016) hardware? Again, I know it is objectively better, but subjectively it just does the same stuff. I have spent hundreds of dollars upgrading over the years (even if some rebates may have been applied, it was still money from somewhere), and the best I can show for it is my selfie game has gradually improved. I already knew what I looked like, Google! I didn’t need to know about my individual pores! I left that behind in high school…
So, yes, part of the reason I dislike the name “Nintendo Switch 2” is that it is a reminder that “this is the next one, and you gotta”. But I have other complaints about the naming of the Nintendo Switch 2. It is hard to articulate in the world of technology where newer is always presumed to be better, but videogames are a weird sphere. So, to attempt to put it simply…
Videogames do not always iterate. And, even when they do iterate, they overwrite history.
Today’s game is Gauntlet 4. This title was stuck on the docket by Random ROB well before the announcement of the Switch 2 for one reason: it’s Gauntlet. Miraculously, this blog has never covered a Gauntlet of any kind, and it was time to hit that franchise. Gauntlet is essential to the history of gaming! And, while it has fallen off in popularity in recent years (predominantly thanks to its parent company nebulously no longer existing), Gauntlet was a mainstay of gaming through the early 2000s. Over 20 years is a good run!
Given the last time we saw a Gauntlet title was over a decade ago, here is a reminder of the sequence of numbered Gauntlets:
Gauntlet (1) was released in arcades in 1985. In general, if you are picturing Gauntlet, this is what is in your mind. You choose between four different heroes of varying skills, and venture through a dungeon that is swarming with monsters. Your heroes have different specialties, and your opponents have unique traits like speed or indestructability. The general goal is to last as long as possible, and aiding your quest there are pickups for food and magic. Don’t shoot the food! Conserve keys for door-barriers, and if you are feeling particularly saucy, use an invisibility potion to stealthily move around all those monster generators. Have enough quarters handy, and you just might not have to leave the arcade until the release of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Gauntlet 2 dropped in the arcades a year later. Nowadays, this would likely be advertised as a DLC upgrade. First and foremost, everyone is color-coded now, so it is possible to have a team of four “cloned” Warriors. Thus, if you are familiar with the phrase “Blue Wizard needs food badly”, that originated from Gauntlet 2. Additionally, we got a few new powerups and monsters, stages that were “rotated”, and a dragon as a sort of boss monster. There was also “It”, a creature that would “tag” a random player and cause them to be the monster focus for the floor. A player could then tag another player to pass “it” to someone else, and there was basically a whole metagame available for a stage or two. An easy game to miss, but something that spiced up the proceedings.
Here is where things get complicated. Technically, the next numbered Gauntlet was 1990’s Gauntlet: The Third Encounter. This was a title for the Atari Lynx, predominantly featured vertical scrolling, and was technically another game entirely before being reskinned with the Gauntlet branding. We’ve got wizards and Valkyries back again, but they are joined by such amazing classes as “Gunfighter”, “Pirate”, “Android”, “Punkrocker”, and “Nerd”. Haha, you got the dud! After this was an unmitigated failure, everyone agreed to never acknowledge Gauntlet: The Third Encounter ever again.
So a new three was born: Gauntlet III: The Final Quest. As if choosing the Lynx for anything wasn’t cursed enough, Gauntlet 3 was released for the Amiga, Atari ST, Commodore 64, and ZX Spectrum in 1991. Now the Gauntlet world has a full story: a peace-loving wizard brought joy to the land, but if the people ever got antsy about their property taxes, a gateway to Hell would open, and monsters would flood forth. Now the people are agitated, and eight different classes of hero are going to venture forth to keep a lid on those monster hordes. Our original gang is now joined by Iceman, Lizardman, Aquaman, and Rockman (not that one). Everything is isometric (so it looks strikingly like The Immortal), and, presumably thanks to the “advanced” graphics, the hordes of Gauntlet opponents have been whittled down to sparsely populous gangs. It is not a bad game per se, it is just “Gauntlet” attempting to ape games of that epoch, and failing to be a decent Gauntlet or a decent game on its own separate metrics. Also, mazes are far too log-based.
And then we arrive at today’s game. Gauntlet IV is… Gauntlet 1 again. This is not an exaggeration! Gauntlet IV was released for the Sega Genesis in 1993, and it started as a homebrew project to port Gauntlet (1) to the Sharp X68000. Atari was evidently impressed by this effort, and hired the programmers to port it all to the Sega Genesis. And that was an excellent choice, as Gauntlet 4 is a great way to play Gauntlet at home. It’s Gauntlet! On a system that can approximate 1985 arcade graphics better than an Atari 2600! And, give or take the availability of a Sega Genesis Team Player, this was probably the best way to play Gauntlet in two decades. Let’s be real here: Gauntlet was always an excuse to fleece kids of their quarters, and this home release being so arcade authentic is and always will be wallet relief for the faithful.
So the draw of Gauntlet 4 is that it is Gauntlet 1. But! There are a few extra modes here. We have “record mode”, which is Gauntlet with saves (via password). Battle Mode is a head-to-head fight between the players, and that is… Well, it is something. Gauntlet is not exactly meant for Player vs. Player, but it could be something to do while waiting to get back into Eternal Champions. Quest Mode, though, that is where the innovation lies! It is recognizably Gauntlet gameplay, but with new bosses, choose-your-own dungeons, a leveling system, and even shops where you can buy upgrades. This could be a glorious new future for the Gauntlet franchise!
And then there was never a numbered Gauntlet game again.
So where did the Gauntlet franchise go from there? Well, against all odds, future Gauntlet titles looked a lot more like Gauntlet III: The Final Quest. Gauntlet returned before the decade was out with Gauntlet: Legends and Gauntlet: Dark Legacy. Both of those titles did their best to maintain the basic gameplay of Gauntlet (man vs. infinite monsters), but their general look, mob sizes, and reliance on inventories recalled Gauntlet 3 much more than Gauntlet 4. They were a fun time! But you could see where a lot of inspiration came from the 1991 title that never got off the Atari ST.
And then we had Gauntlet: Seven Sorrows, which once had John Romero involved in development. We do not talk about Gauntlet: Seven Sorrows.
But what happened to the gameplay that made Gauntlet IV feel so good? Well, the Gauntlet franchise may no longer be with us, but if you play Gauntlet IV: Quest Mode followed by a certain bullet heaven…
You may see some slight similarities. Not going to claim such a thing is 1:1, but there are definitely more than a few links between Warrior throwing axes at ghosts and Lama Ladonna chucking that same weapon at hordes of slightly different ghosts. Yes, Vampire Survivors bites on Castlevania quite a bit, but gaming is not a straight-line of influences.
And that is the issue with the Switch 2 naming convention. Is the Nintendo Switch 2 the next Nintendo hardware iteration? Yes, certainly. But is it just “the next Switch”? No. In the same way that games today have drawn from unlikely influences throughout decades of gaming, the Nintendo Switch 2 is just as much a descendant of the Nintendo Switch as the Nintendo Virtual Boy. You will use Nintendo Joy Cons 2, but they are derived from the Power Glove, Power Pad, and SNES Mouse. History is not a straight line, technology is even less so, and numbers have never meant anything.
And I will say all of this again when we get Nintendo Switch III: The Final Quest.
FGC #691 Gauntlet IV
System: Sega Genesis. And that’s it! This should have been ported everywhere, but I guess its system-exclusivity was kind of the point of the exercise.- Number of players: This is supposedly a four-player game, but I have never encountered anyone with a Sega Genesis capable of supporting four players. There was at least Super Bomberman on the Super Nintendo…
- Favorite Random Monster: Wizards teleport around, but they cannot seem to teleport through walls. So they basically jump ahead two squares, watch as their generators spawn more wizards, and then create a humongous wizard mosh pit with dudes in beards bopping ineffectually in and out of existence. I can get down with that.
- No Bonus: Gauntlet IV is firmly part of the era when “bonus stages” were the most stressful part of any videogame. In Gauntlet’s case, you have a monster-less area where there is practically infinite treasure to procure… But you do not get anything if you cannot find the exit before time is up. And, considering the screen real estate is not significant, finding that exit has about the same odds as finding a Warrior wearing a shirt.
- Life Lessons: Thieves seem threatening, but are weak and hopeless. They just kind of move weird. They have probably been through some stuff, so don’t judge them by their profession.
- So, did you beat it? Nope! The only Gauntlet game I have ever played to completion was Gauntlet: Dark Legacy. And that was entirely because of save features and the fact that I had multiple people to play with until the early hours of the morning. And I was in college. It all added up!
- Did you know? So the “group of friends” that programmed the Gauntlet port that became Gauntlet IV went on to found M2, one of the best damn game porting companies out there. And they make fun, generally original games, too! So that’s another situation where a random numbered release knocked down all kinds of dominos to make cooler stuff well outside the original objective.
- Would I play again: Yes, but with the caveat that Gauntlet and/or Gauntlet IV should be immediately available with online netplay on current generation consoles. I want to Gauntlet around with my friends! There are ever so many ghosts to kill!
What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… Action Video Monopoly! Oh boy! It’s time to visit my rich uncle! Please look forward to it!
