FGC #683 Beavis and Butt-Head

Let’s talk about reinforcement, the current state of politics, and complete idiots.

Beavis and Butt-Head premiered in March of 1993. In October of 1993, the show was blamed for a five-year old lighting his home on fire. As a result, Beavis was no longer allowed to say “fire” for the remainder of the original run. In February of 1994, an 18-year-old killed a toddler by tossing a bowling ball off an overpass. Beavis and Butt-Head were again blamed, and, from that point on, Beavis and Butt-Head was broadcast with an opening disclaimer:

“Beavis and Butt-Head are not real. They are stupid cartoon people completely made up by this Texas guy whom we hardly even know. Beavis and Butt-Head are dumb, crude, thoughtless, ugly, sexist, self-destructive fools. But for some reason, the little wienerheads make us laugh.”

This disclaimer was later modified. The new version appeared not only before every showing, but also related media, like today’s game. It is the more familiar:

“Beavis and Butt-Head are not role models. They’re not even human; they’re cartoons. Some of the things they do would cause a person to get hurt, expelled, arrested, possibly deported. To put it another way, DON’T try this at home.”

This disclaimer remained attached to the show through the end of its first run in November of 1997. Given those episodes were also played in reruns through the new millennium, there are people of a certain age that will begin salivating for funny cartoons after hearing the familiar “Beavis and Butt-Heard are not role models…”

But this intro was never intended as a refrain. It is, literally, a legal disclaimer. There were accusations that Beavis and Butt-Head was a show that was corrupting our youth to the point that babies were being murdered, so something had to be done to think of the children. MTV was not going to halt production of its first animated hit any more than it was going to cancel The Real World. So, to compensate for the shrieking masses, MTV placated the public with a clear statement of “do not do what Beavis and Butt-Head do.” Should be obvious with a protagonist named Butt-Head, but here we are, dumbasses, enjoy your warning.

(And it is worth noting that in both of the deadly cases mentioned in the introduction to this article, it was later found that neither of the families actually had cable, so it is unlikely they ever actually watched the show…)

But let us consider a world where lawyers do not rule the roost. Let us assume that Beavis and Butt-Head aired in a dimension where MTV was not afraid of being accused of murder by proxy. Assuming a universe where their creators could avoid any and all liability, would the audience still have to be reminded that Beavis and Butt-Head “are not role models”?

Well, as concrete evidence that the population needs to be repeatedly told not to follow idiocy, we present the evidence that Donald Trump was elected president again.

Donald Trump was elected president in 2016. At the time, he had the hair/political experience of a toilet brush, and had not held any kind of elected office of any kind. He ran for president again in 2020 and 2024. Since he ran against elected Vice Presidents both of those times, he arguably had more precise proficiency with the position than his opponents. However, the flipside of that competence was that the public had 100% knowledge of how a “Donald Trump Presidency” would go. To wit, here are some highlights from Trump’s 2017-2021(ish) service to the nation:

• $8 trillion in additional national debt
• Longest federal government shutdown in US history
• Transgender military ban
• Muslim immigration ban
• Removed protected status for 59,000 Haitians
• Worst jobs record in modern history
• Gave government jobs to his entire unqualified family, complete with full federal clearances
• A not insignificant number of staff members he hired were convicted of federal offenses
• Rudy Giuliani: Attorney General of the United States of America
• Exploited the Secret Service’s requirements to be in his proximity by blowing their funding on exorbitant stays at Trump properties
• Related: So much golf
• Fired the FBI director for investigating his ties to Russia, bragged about it
• Puerto Rico was left in shambles by Hurricane Maria/Trump’s “support”.
• Attempted to withhold Ukrainian military support to embarrass a political rival
• Withdrew the US from the Paris climate accords
• Withdrew the US from the Iranian nuclear agreement
• Withdrew the US from the Transpacific Partnership
• Really made NATO uncomfortable
• Tried to buy Greenland (?)
• Destroyed regulations regarding mercury and asbestos
• Discontinued the Office of Pandemic Response, which arguably directly influenced…
• COVID pandemic that involved straight up refrigerator trucks of bodies in some areas
• And then withdrew from the World Health Organization
• Tear-gassed protesters for a photo op
• Got his own insurrection going shortly thereafter
• Remember that whole tax return thing?
• Impeached
• Impeached 2: The Revenge

And some notable things our dear president said while in office:

• Boasted of “super-duper” secret “hydrosonic” missile
• Repeatedly called the press “enemies of the people”
• Veterans and soldiers who died in combat are “losers and suckers”
• Neo-Nazis are “very fine people”
• Haiti and African nations are “shithole” countries
• Baltimore is the “worst (city) in the nation”
• Sadiq Khan, mayor of London, is a “stone cold loser”
• Congresswoman Maxine Waters was “low IQ”
• Senator Elizabeth Warren was nicknamed “Pocahontas” in the rare double-racism gambit
• His own Vice President was a “pussy”
• Never met an authoritarian dictator he didn’t compliment
• Never admitted to his 2020 loss
• Must dislike dogs

And, just because it is never a bad time to bring up such an event: there is photographic proof that the 45th/47th President stared straight at an eclipse. Toddlers have more sense than that man.

So here is the question: whether you support or have ever supported Trump, do you remember all of these events? All of these things he has said and done? And, for that matter, did you even read that entire list? It was something like 300 words. These articles are usually approximately one thousand. That’s a lot of text just about one guy! Did you absorb all of that, then and/or now? Can you immediately recount it? Can you instantly verify Trump’s opinions on the Transpacific Partnership? Or was Trump’s first four years in office a generic blur of headlines and news bytes that now are as memorable as your junior prom? The one with Sharon? With the mousy hair?

And, while we are asking questions, did you know The Apprentice ran on NBC with “Trump Productions” at the helm for eleven years?

Pundits are fond of analyzing the details of policies, but the fact that The Apprentice is not a constant part of the conversation is proof that focusing exclusively on “politics” for answers is folly. The Apprentice was a “reality” show where Donald Trump was lauded as (no exaggeration) the most successful businessman to ever exist. His genius was untouchable, but he also had silly little “human” foibles like being hopelessly addicted to Big Macs. Just like you and me! His provably related nepo babies were recurring “cast members”, and his “You’re fired!” catchphrase appeared on ubiquitous merchandise. Later, when Celebrity Apprentice got going, it featured verifiable celebrities capitulating themselves for the amusement of Lord Trump. But do not worry, peon viewer, The Apprentice may have always presented a Trump that was The God of Business, but the way the camera and plot followed The Man made it clear you were on His side. Why, if you were also born into impossible wealth and narcissism like Donald Trump, you would be right there with him! In much the same way you are encouraged to put yourself in the place of the tastemaker judges of any reality competition, The Apprentice encouraged its adoring audience to not be the titular “apprentice”, but to stand right there in conviction with The Almighty Trump.

At the Season 1 peak, Trump’s The Apprentice finale was viewed by 28.1 million people. Ratings declined on “regular” The Apprentice by the time of Season 10 to a finale only viewed by 4.5 million people. But surrounding The Celebrity Apprentice Seasons 9 & 11 had 9.3 and 8.3 million viewers respectively. The Celebrity Apprentice (with Donald Trump) had its lowest viewership in Season 13 with 5.3 million, but it bounced back to 6.1 million the following, final year. You know, the year Donald Trump himself was fired by NBC for utilizing racist rhetoric as part of his fledgling 2016 campaign.

Almost a decade later, Donald Trump won the 2024 Presidential Election with 76 million votes. Harris lost at 74 million votes. Suffice to say, even a “worst finale of The Apprentice” 4.5 million people would have made a difference in that race. Or, put another way, it is entirely possible that over one third of the people that voted for Trump in 2024 (28.1 million!) did so distinctly remembering and promoting his “ratings smash” television persona from nearly 20 years earlier.

There are over 200 episodes of The Apprentice out there. With some episodes running as long as two hours, that means there are at least 1,500 minutes of Trump is an Amazing Leader propaganda/entertainment. That tallies up to a little under 11 continuous days of programming. While no one is clockwork orange’ing themselves with eleven days of Trump fellatio, there is a 57 DVD boxset of The Apprentice episodes. Inevitably, given the math and availability, there are thousands of people that have “mainlined” this Trump-approved production like a drug.

So go ahead and tell me that anyone who has watched 200 episodes of Donald Trump’s The Apprentice is going to be swayed by “but a president shouldn’t insult Baltimore!”

We are a society all about legal disclaimers. Beavis and Butt-Head started with a warning just as we would one day see on Jackass or Jersey Shore. It became a standard for shows that were subversive enough to be considered controversial. But current events indicate we need more disclaimers. The Donald Trump that appeared on The Apprentice was no more a real person than Mr. Beavis and Mr. Boothroyd. The persona that people voted to be President of the United States was not even human, just a cartoon. Trump is not a role-model, and some of the things he advocates for would get a person hurt, expelled, arrested, possibly deported. To put it another way, do not believe in this man.

But enough people did, and now here we are.

Way to suck, assmunch.

FGC #683 Beavis and Butt-Head

• System: Insomuch as this article is focusing on any videogame at all, we are exclusively looking at the Sega Genesis version today. There were also games called “Beavis and Butt-Head” for the Super Nintendo, Game Gear, and Gameboy. All of those titles were unique, though. Beavis and Butt-Head in Virtual Stupidity is an entirely different (good) thing, too.
• Number of Players: You can each control a protagonist with two controllers, but I assure you that no extra fun will be had with such a setup. I am speaking from experience.
• Maybe actually talk about the game for a second: This may be the perfect adaptation of Beavis and Butt-Head. Initially, it appears to be a crass platformer where Beavis and Butt-Head have to burp and fart their way through familiar locations and typical situations (well, typical for two people that routinely get expelled for detonating bathrooms). But play it a little more, and it becomes obvious that this is more of a Kings Quest-esque adventure game, and much more of a thoughtful, cerebral experience. Oh, and you better figure out that King’s Quest connection quick, because if you do not learn to use the password system to save-scum some of the instant death traps around town, your quest isn’t going to be fit for a king (Butt-Head).
• Guidance Counselors: As a marginal adventure game, there are a lot of “use fish on pants to open door” style puzzles. Luckily, there are a few helpful NPCs here and there directing you to some of the more esoteric answers, like how you have to use gum on a fishing pole to retrieve one of the essential ticket pieces. That said, it doesn’t look like anyone anywhere will provide Butt-Head’s Burger World entry password (it’s “BUTTHEAD”), so go ahead and reference a FAQ at will.
• Modern Healthcare: Everyone always wants to tell you about how awesome they are for conquering the Turbo Tunnel, but the hospital cart race is five times harder and punishes you for pausing. And it’s not like this is a game with extra lives, either!
• What’s in a name: “Turbo Mall 2000” sounded so much more impressive in 1994. Now it is charmingly retro.
• Say something mean: The High School corridor is too long by about 2,000%. There are a whole three NPCs in there! Why does it feel like it takes four years!?
• An end: There are two different endings. One ending simply sees our heroes achieve their goal of getting to the concert, and the other allows them to dress up in costumes and rock out on stage. So be cautious! Because you must show up to the climax with a spare cat and scissors to make it through the final obstacles. And nobody should trust Beavis with scissors…
• A sign of the times: Please enjoy this dig at the short-lived, Sega Genesis-based ratings system.
  
  Also note that fire does not appear in this game at all.
• Absurdist Humor: The Pawn Shop Guy will buy all sorts of random crap you find around the world, and he is your reliable source for sussing out if something is useful or vendor trash to be traded. That said, he will apparently buy an entire, live seagull off the boys, and that raises all sorts of questions.
• Further Absurdist Humor: I made this for reasons I no longer remember.
  
  Probably got lost when I cleared out all my old Twitter posts, so it can live here now.
• Did you know: All of the games named Beavis and Butt-Head were officially sponsored by Gwar. However, the final Beavis and Butt-Head game released, the Gameboy port released four years later, had apparently lost the Gwar license, and dropped all branding. Maybe the big boys of Gwar did not see enough of a return on games where protagonists are defeated by lawnmowers?
• Would I play again: Distinct maybe! The mix of adventure game trappings with platforming “traps” is frequently frustrating, but once you get a feel for how these teens control, it is a fun escapade. Something more akin to Beavis and Butt-Head in Goat Simulator would be better, but at least you get to inexplicably blow up a snack stand here. Just DON’T try this at home.

What’s next? Random ROB has chosen… Quest for the Shaven Yak Starring Ren Hoek & Stimpy! We are closing out our curious series on Late 20th Century duos with the stars of early Nickelodeon! Please look forward to it!