This is BEAT’s show, but I may as well throw a few words at Bomb Rush Cyberfunk.
Fun fact: damn near everything about this game makes me, Goggle Bob, ashamed of myself.
I was born with the balance of a fainting goat, so I am terrible at all radical activities. Skating at any given roller rink (traditionally encouraged by a birthday party of some sort) has always ended in tears. My aptitude while riding a bicycle is best described as “comical”. I am capable of surfing, but that is only because a crash while surfing leads to bobbing around the ocean and maybe getting dragged around by your board. Failing at skateboarding ends in the hospital. I am not even attempting that.
But in Bomb Rush Cyberfunk, you shred everywhere.
I have no “freehand” artistic talent. Possibly related to that lack of balance, I have the darndest time steadying any given artistic instrument. In fact, I recently repainted some sections of my home, and I can safely say that were it not for painter’s tape, my house would look like a battleground from Splatoon. The concept of “tagging” a wall is so far beyond me, you may as well ask me to leave my signature on the moon. And never mind the fact that I can say with complete certainty that my overactive empathic worrying would leave me a wreck wondering about the poor, underpaid custodian that would have to remove my graffiti from the side of a building. He’s just trying to get home to his twelve starving grandkids! He doesn’t need to spend all day scrubbing my tag off of brick!
But in Bomb Rush Cyberfunk, your primary means of expression is tagging.
I am the least stylish person I know. This is self-inflicted. I could go out, get some new drip, and have it all properly fitted. I can technically afford such a thing. But I don’t wanna. Nothing about modern men’s clothing is immediately appealing to me, and since I have very little interest, I have extremely little drive to improve. Clothes shopping has always felt the same to me: like a waste of time when I could be doing anything else in the world. I could be playing videogames! I could be writing about videogames! I simply do not have any need to put the time and effort into wearing anything but the same jeans and t-shirt I have been wearing since high school.
But in Bomb Rush Cyberfunk, every character is visually distinct and stylish.
I love Bom Rush Cyberfunk, because it is everything I’m not.
Even Worse Streams Presents Bomb Rush Cyberfunk
Night 1
June 25, 2024
Random Notes:
- You’re jazz jackrabbiting with BEAT in the pilot’s seat, and fanboymaster, Cassandralyn, Chromes, and myself in commentary.
- “I have an idle animation, and it’s bad dancing.”
- We streamed Bomb Rush Cyberfunk once before, but we’re going to go all the way through this time. We start from the beginning, and include an explanation of the game/tutorial. Let’s learn!
Please enjoy the giant hands of the Dreamcast/Gamecube era of graphics.- Are there any Capcom games that are not playable on the Nintendo Switch? Like, in all of history? Give or take OG Resident Evil 1? Let’s talk about Capcom million sellers!
- Our dear fanboymaster has played Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney twenty times. More power to him.
- New Amsterdam means we must discuss They Might be Giants. Or at least quote a song.
- We get our first “level complete” dream sequence as we examine Ollie King and explain how arcades used to exist. Oh, and my old nemesis, Double Dragon 3.
- Everything online must be safe for Disney to sell frozen gogurt.
- While BEAT is doing some rad tricks, Ample Vigour joins, and Caliscrub arrives with his own burrito shortly thereafter.
- Ample Vigour regales us with tales of the various bodily fluids at the public pool.
- And now let’s listen to a podcast sponsored by “buying car parts on eBay”.
- (And please ignore a slight hiccup in the stream where OBS crashed and BEAT may not have noticed everyone going silent.)
- Somehow, Breath of Fire conversations returned. Please enjoy my rankings!
- Cass lists the Dreamcast games she and her brother owned as children(ish). “These are normal, decent Dreamcast games for children to be around. This is not concerning in the least.”
- Let us analyze the Iron Sheik, a once in a generation kind of man.
- Aw, this was the day Shifty Shellshock died. This stream is now in honor of Celebrity Rehab.
- Obviously, talking about the importance of getting proper help for addiction leads to a discussion of Mountain Monsters and the Big Feets podcast.
- And we close with some old heads, another dream sequence, and even more discussion of Breath of Fire.
Next time on Bomb Rush Cyberfunk: And then they went to the mall.
I would straight up die.