It is late August. Summer is almost over, and I am an old man that wants to feel like a kid again. Time to hit the local arcade (my basement), and play a bunch of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles beat ‘em ups. That should beat the summer heat!
To justify this frivolous waste of time, I shall judge these beat ‘em ups on important criteria, like turtle-differences, plot, boss-differences, and Krang availability. Now every part of my brain wins. Tonight I dine on dopamine soup!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Arcade
1989
Which Turtles?
They appear to be slightly more mature than the usual merch from that era, but these are definitely the 1987 cartoon turtles.
Who is playable?
Four turtles. This one set the standard for years and years.
Are the Turtles any different?
Not really! They are definitely using their signature weapons and colors, but it is difficult to discern if there are any gameplay differences between a sai and a bo staff. They even all have the same canned dialogue for speech bubbles.
What’s the plot?
Shredder starts by burning down the Channel 6 News building (!), and kidnaps April for general baiting purposes (editor’s note: stop that). April is rescued about halfway through, and then Splinter gets kidnapped. Now we’ve gotta rescue a rat and break a Technodrome so Shredder learns to knock it off.
Is there a radical stage?
Turtles zoom through the streets on rocket-powered skateboards for a level. Also, this area ends with the turtles hopping in the Party Wagon, and then crashing it off a highway for literally no reason.
Is there an elevator?
The Technodrome contains one (1) elevator, but the elevator is devoid of battles. Boo! There are giant balls to dodge, though.
Are there powerups?
Pizzas to restore health are usually seen once a level or so. If you have low health, and a “friend” steals the only pizza on the screen, it is considered appropriate and even polite to punch them square in the face.
Who are your opponents?
We have every variety of Foot Soldier available here. Some are color-coded, some just inexplicably have swords, and, every once in a while, one of those weirdos grabs a personal helicopter. They only have, like, ten of those, though, so they don’t last. Other opponents are limited to Roadkill Rodney, Mousers, and that one group of laser drones that are never seen again.
Who are the bosses?
God help me, I think I can remember the order off the top of my head. Rocksteady, Bebop, Baxter Stockman (human, in personal tube-craft), Bebop & Rocksteady, Granitor the Rock Soldier, General Traag the other Rock Soldier, and then the big boys. Without getting into weekly monsters, this is an excellent representation of the animated lineup of baddies.
Who is the final boss?
Shredder is the head honcho in word and deed. In order to distinguish his powers from his minions (and maybe pad out the game a little longer), he is able to create infinite “shadow clones” in numbers to equal the turtles. Naruto is and has always been ripping off this franchise.
Does Krang’s giant robot body appear?
Krang is the penultimate boss of the game, and he’s got his robot body ready to go. Please do not make eye contact with the top head.
Is it any fun?
This one all but defined the beat ‘em up genre for a generation, so it is pretty safe to say someone had fun with it. In playing it in succession with its descendants, the difficulty ramps up miraculously fast (the first two levels are for babies, and then you’re unlikely to ever avoid a Foot Spear ever again), and some of the bosses are straight up quarter killers meant to drain your life force and wallet. But I have somehow never had a bad time playing this game with friends, so it works out in the end.
Any reason to replay?
I would say no, but I have somehow played through this one 10,000 times over the course of my life. There has to be something here…
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: The Manhattan Project
Nintendo Entertainment System
1991
Which Turtles?
1987 Turtles again. The NES sprites are adorable.
Who is playable?
Just the fearsome foursome. Splinter may not participate, but at least he makes it through this adventure without being kidnapped.
Are the Turtles any different?
They have different weapons, and range seems to be generally equalized thanks to Raph thrusting the hell out of those sai. But this time, everyone has a unique special move, and they vary in significant ways. Mikey is great at kangaroo kicking aerial enemies, while Leo’s spin will trounce a crowd. Coordinate your second player for maximum coverage!
What’s the plot?
April is kidnapped and Manhattan has been floated into the sky for nebulous reasons. The whole kidnapping thing is putting a hat on a hat, but that is a more relatable problem than floating cities. This is not a Final Fantasy game, Shredder!
Is there a radical stage?
You have a surfing stage, as the turtles are on vacation when this caper begins, and they must motor on back home. But they are in Key West, Florida! Possibly about as south on the East Coast as you can get! It is nearly 1,500 miles back to New York City! That’s a lot of surfing!
Is there an elevator?
Immediately after clearing the Technodrome, Shredder escapes… up. So you have to scale a skyscraper, and that includes an elevator with absolutely zero guardrails. Try not to jump kick into oblivion.
Are there powerups?
Pizza will restore your health approximately four times across the game. There was apparently a cheese shortage recently, and pizza must be carefully rationed. You don’t even see your first pizza until the third level!
Who are your opponents?
We’ve got more Foot Soldier variants than Mega Man has color swaps. And I am including webcomics! Mousers, Rock Soldiers, random robots, and some creature that resembles a bulky Fugitoid are also around.
Who are the bosses?
A number of pairs that will never appear simultaneously are featured. Bebop & Rocksteady, Groundchuck & Dirtbag, and Tokka & Rahzar all emerge separately. Can Slash and Leatherhead be a duo, too? We also have the Mother Mouser, which is roughly the size of a horse. Do not mistake it for other giant mousers.
Who is the final boss?
Shredder is fought at about the 70% point, so the final boss has to be the upgraded Super Shredder. Note that, like Tokka & Rahzar, this Super Shredder is based on his movie incarnation, as his secret is the ooze. Later Super Shredders may upgrade through other means.
Does Krang’s giant robot body appear?
Generally man-sized Krang appears again, this time with chest grenades, rocket punches, a hammer arm attachment, and eye lasers. He splits in two for a portion of the fight just to be more annoying.
Is it any fun?
This one is really straddling the line between arcade and home adaptations. On one hand, the general levels are survivable, and you are rewarded for finding proper Foot-management techniques for different situations. On the other hand, nearly all of the bosses are monsters, and are designed to destroy your health and continues. Some of their attacks have invincible windups and cooldowns that last forever. So it’s a fun game, but the bosses are demoralizing.
Any reason to replay?
I’m not usually one to compliment a game for being longer than its contemporaries, but lengthy 2-player co-op titles were in short supply on the NES. You could enjoy this one with a friend for longer than forty minutes, so we’re going to say the replayability here is great for 1991.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Hyperstone Heist
Sega Genesis
1992
Which Turtles?
It’s the 1987 cartoon gang again, but at least you can dress ‘em up in more comics-based colors. Wait… wasn’t that comic in black and white?
Who is playable?
Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, Michaelangelo.
Are the Turtles any different?
As a continuation of previous Konami brawlers, this batch adapted the convention of every turtle getting a unique special move. Other than that, we just have our usual weapon differences.
What’s the plot?
Shredder shrinks the whole of Manhattan (and Liberty Island) with the Hyperstone of Dimension X. Absolutely nothing interesting is done with this concept (not like you have a level with shrunken heroes and giant rats or something), but the turtles do have to wander off to reclaim a miniature Manhattan.
Is there a radical stage?
There is a surfing bonus stage leading into the “haunted ghost ship” that is totally not just an asset swap of a stage from Turtles in Time. There are collectibles and obstacles along the trip, so it does work out to be the most unique section of the game. Unfortunately, you don’t get a final tally or bonus for collecting all the water-pizzas.
Is there an elevator?
The final level has an ominous elevator ride down to the big boss. There are plenty of Foot Soldiers to fight along the way, too. A proper beat ‘em up elevator.
Are there powerups?
Pizza is serving the same health purpose as before, and new “bomb pizzas” allow a turtle to spin everything on the screen to an early grave. Try to time those out for maximum carnage.
Who are your opponents?
Foot Soldiers, Roadkill Rodney, and mousers (normal and flying) of the previous arcade title are joined by generic rock soldiers. I guess they didn’t have anywhere else to go after you blew up General Traag. While we’re at it, toss in a pizza monster or two.
Who are the bosses?
Leatherhead rules the sewers, Rocksteady is alone on a pirate ship, and Tatsu is training robots to be better Foot Soldiers. Leatherhead and Rocksteady are extremely similar (punch, ranged weapon, charge across the screen), but Tatsu is practically a puzzle boss with his infinite minions. Baxter Stockman returns in his previous arcade-pod as the boss of The Gauntlet, a level where you must fight all these bosses again. Considering the limited number of bosses, that is an odd choice.
Who is the final boss?
Shredder! And he upgrades to Super Shredder before you even get a chance to throw a sword in his direction. Given his color-coded attacks, one could argue he is more cerebral than some beat ‘em up bosses.
Does Krang’s giant robot body appear?
It’s the Turtles in Time model that has wings and a beating heart. Respect that missile heart. Do you know what a mobile brain has to go through to get extra organs?
Is it any fun?
We are using Hyperstone Heist as a representative of the 16-bit era (sorry, no TiT to be seen), as this game may reuse assets from its arcade cousin, but it is 100% a game intended for the home consoles (and limited continues). As such, it is much more measured than its coin-op brethren, and every enemy mob is calibrated not to destroy your budget, but more function as battle-puzzles. Figure out the best way to conquer any given mob, and then do it again later with a spiked ceiling threatening your jumping skills. And the bosses are fair this time, too! If you want a straight up arcade game, you may be disappointed here, but this is an underappreciated addition to the TMNT canon.
Any reason to replay?
… That said, once you’ve seen it all, you’ve seen it all. Maybe give some extra difficulty levels a try, but it’s not like you can unlock a fightable Bebop (buddy, where did you go?) with enough playthroughs…
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Gameboy Advance)
Gameboy Advance
2003
Which Turtles?
We are moving on to the 2003 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series. That was the one that was a little more hardcore, with a Baxter Stockman that had some serious Ghost in a Machine issues. That gradually (offscreen) happens in this game!
Who is playable?
Casey Jones, April O’Neil, and Splinter are all featured prominently in cutscenes, but only the four turtles are playable.
Are the Turtles any different?
Dramatically so! Every turtle has their own moves and abilities, and they participate in wholly separate stages tailored to their abilities. They are even more unique than usual, with differences like everyone but Donny having a double jump, and ol’ purple compensating with a bo-boosted high jump.
What’s the plot?
Each turtle is assigned an episode from the first season of the show. Leonardo tackles mousers, Raph meets Casey Jones, Donatello sorts Foot Tech Ninja, and Mikey stalks genetic monsters in an underground lab. After everyone wraps up their featured stages, you may choose your favorite to deal with that dude in the armor.
Is there a radical stage?
Every turtle gets their own vehicle, too! Leonardo steers the Sewer Slider through a rail shooter, Raph has a motorcycle race, and Donny gets the best with a 2-D shoot ‘em up via hang glider. Poor Mikey is stuck with a skateboarding stage that is way too reminiscent of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 to be any fun.
Is there an elevator?
The final stage is a gauntlet within Shredder’s fortress, and you better believe he installed a beat ‘em up elevator. It even shoots laser beams from the floor for some bonus fun!
Are there powerups?
Canisters of ooze are your only pickups this time. While much of this game feels like someone at Konami looking back fondly at old TMNT games and finding ways to improve, the lack of gameplay pizza makes you wonder if anyone understood these reptiles.
Who are your opponents?
TMNT 2003 may have started the trend of rebooted animated shows spending a whole first season working up to the generic plots of their ancestorial shows. As a result, the most common opponents across the game are Purple Dragon “thugs” (the game’s word, not mine), and Foot Soldiers are used more sparingly. We also have mousers, Stocktronic security guards, and a handful of underground/mutant monsters.
Who are the bosses?
We’ve got a giant mouser that is bigger than Mother Mouser but still not as big as NES Mouser to kick things off with Leo. Raph is assigned forgettable henchman Dragon Face. Donny has to handle Foot Tech Ninja (they can turn invisible). And poor Michelangelo once again gets the worst of it with a survival match against multiple (generic) mutant monsters. Casey Jones is also fought as a boss. Don’t worry, he and Raph become friends immediately thereafter.
Who is the final boss?
“Regular” Shredder, but they make a big deal about him putting on his armor after appearing in basic duds through all the cutscenes. He is only fought once (and can transform into static critters for some reason), and then Splinter shows up to conquer round 2. The rat wins.
Does Krang’s giant robot body appear?
Hun the Enforcer fills the Krang role here of being the hulking penultimate boss. Other than that parallel, we have no Krang or even a single Utrom. Well, at least a single Utrom that anybody knows about…
Is it any fun?
This one is more 2-D than the other brawlers, and there is a bit of an emphasis on platforming, so Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (GBA) barely squeaked in on qualifying for whatever arbitrary conditions apply to this article. That said, you still have to beat up random dudes with the same face to move forward, so we’re going to allow it. This is a hidden gem (crystal?) of the later Konami TMNT games, and the expressive sprites and cool basic attacks are something you have to see at least once. Oh! And there is this risk/reward “charge attack” system that doesn’t ever appear in the franchise again. Whiffing a charge and watching Leonardo nearly vomit is always fun.
Any reason to replay?
You are expected to collect crystals through each level. There is a counter for crystals, but damned if I can figure out what the heck they are supposed to do. Not like there is an ending screen with Ch’rell juggling the dang things.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Battle Nexus
2004
Playstation 2, Xbox, Gamecube
Which Turtles?
2003 Turtles again. This is a platform-hopping sequel to the previous game. No, I am not going to acknowledge the console version of that last adventure.
Who is playable?
Four turtles, and now you can unlock four different “alternate” characters that each replace a different turtle. Your alternates are Casey Jones, Splinter, Karai (Shredder’s daughter), and Slashurr (a Chrome Dome/Krang hybrid original to the game).
Are the Turtles any different?
Yes! There is more of an emphasis on team play here, so every turtle has unique “skills”. Swords cut fencing, nunchucks can be used for helicopter-platforming, and Donatello does machines with a laser gun powerup. Raph’s skills have always been dubious, so he is limited to having super strength.
What’s the plot?
This is generally a retelling of the second season of the 2003 animated series, complete with reused animation from the source. We’ve got a few original characters and events skulking around, but it is mostly just the turtles beat Shredder, misplace Splinter, teleport around space, defend the Fugitoid, fight in an intergalactic tournament, travel through time (kinda), and beat Shredder all over again. Fun fact? April is not kidnapped at all!
Is there a radical stage?
In thinking about it, I do not recall a single example of surfing or skating throughout this adventure. You go to space, so that is kinda radical.
Is there an elevator?
Stage 4-3 names an elevator in its episode description, but it is more like a series of moving platforms. Yes, I realize that elevators are moving platformers. This is a different one of those! Like from Mario! Not Donkey Kong!
Are there powerups?
Pizza and iced tea (that cannot be right) will restore health. There are also random crystals that will enhance stats, so you might temporarily be able to take more damage or hit harder. Kind of weirdly Final Fantasy-esque again, there. Other than that, you can find antiques that may or may not eventually unlock arcade games you would rather play.
Who are your opponents?
We start with basic Foot Soldiers and mousers, but the full scope of this story takes you all over the place, and the mook armies are expanded appropriately. There are sentient rocks! And dinosaurs! And ancient feudal soldiers! And Foot Soldiers, but bigger! All sorts of options.
Who are the bosses?
If you are looking for established characters, you’ve got Traximus (a triceraton), Leatherhead, Karai, Robo-Splinter, and Hun (Shredder’s Goro again). And you fight Shredder in the past and the present. On the lesser-known echelon, we’ve got the Ultimate Ninja and the previously mentioned Slashurr. And if we really want to get nuts, Spasmosaur is here. That thing apparently only ever reappeared in a Wayforward shooting game. Not even going to try to figure that one out.
Who is the final boss?
You’ve heard of Super Shredder, but how about Mega Shredder? Shredder in this continuity is an Ultrom (Krang) by the name of Ch’rell who has been skulking around Earth since Feudal times. Unfortunately, for all that buildup, his final form is basically just Shredder with a lightning sword. He’s still labeled as “mega”, though!
Does Krang’s giant robot body appear?
You’ve got multiple Ultroms in robot bodies, but not a single analogue for our boy Krang. Boo! Boo I say!
Is it any fun?
This is something of a combination of the beat ‘em up of turtles’ past, and a 3-D action game. You are encouraged to explore large worlds for pickups and surprises, and there is platforming intermittently around the levels. All that said, though, it does not add up to an amazing experience, and a lot of the “fighting” gameplay is over reliant on stun-locking and general waiting around. And this is a console game from the early 2000’s, so it is way too long for not featuring many ideas. You could probably clear the whole arcade game in the time you would finish these first two levels…
Any reason to replay?
The titular Battle Nexus is the reason this TMNT title was chosen from the trilogy. You can participate in various tournaments against game enemies and bosses to hone your blades against some Foot skulls. It’s… uh… something to do. And, hey, Miyamoto Usagi is in there, too.
TMNT
2007
Gameboy Advance
Which Turtles?
None of the most famous 90’s live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies received a distinct tie-in game, but TMNT, the 2007 animated version that continues that continuity, got an Ubisoft title three days before the movie’s release. The consoles versions are based on the Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones engine, so they’re not beat ‘em ups. But we have a GBA game that apes the good ol’ days of Konami, so we’ll give it a spin.
Who is playable?
Four turtles are playable, though two levels exclusively belong to Raphael. And Leonardo is unavailable/kidnapped for one, too. And while this is not a two-player game, you can fill a gauge to summon a second turtle for assist attacks, so you vaguely have an extra turtle.
Are the Turtles any different?
Everybody has different stats, and they look more different than color swaps, but they all have the same base moveset. Does not look like there is a special move to be had here. And we are also once again in a situation where the turtles with shorter weapons are performing exceptional lunges
What’s the plot?
This is the TMNT movie’s plot, though oddly told through narrated flashbacks. There is literally no reason to be “looking back” at this story, guys! Whatever the case, we’ve got an immortal(ish) businessman bringing back his four generals/siblings to fight 12 ancient monsters. You only get to see three of those monsters during the game, though. They were caught in a montage in the film, and you could have based an entire game around capturing 12 distinct monsters, but no…
Is there a radical stage?
You get to “surf” a truck speeding down a New York highway toward Liberty Island. That should make you feel like a pretty bad dude.
Is there an elevator?
It looks like Yaotl’s penthouse has a view that gradually rises over the NYC skyline and into space. So that is either an elevator, or the building is getting taller.
Are there powerups?
Aside from generic health pickups (each turtle has unique foodstuffs, so only Mikey gets pizza) This beat ‘em up takes more of a Double Dragon route, and there are multiple weapons that can be lifted from your opponents. Throwing rocks or shuriken feels cool, but is nabbing a bat an upgrade over a set of sai? And it is hard to tell what is goofier: Donny uncharacteristically holding a sword, or Leonardo trading his twin katana for a slightly larger, singular blade. Temporary swords are stronger somehow!
Who are your opponents?
The generic punks of Manhattan are taking center stage again. Additionally, we have a limited number of Foot Soldiers, Chicago Dogs, security guards, and regular-sized robots.
Who are the bosses?
For familiar faces, we have Hun with a bazooka, and Karai utilizing her dad’s duplicate magic. For TMNT-specific bosses, we’ve got Winters/Yaotl, two transdimensional monsters (one of which is the Jersey Devil), and a Leonardo cage. Aside from the inanimate cage, all the bosses utilize the age-old patten of “always be invincible, except one incredibly telegraphed period where it’s time to be vulnerable”.
Who is the final boss?
Some added context: the whole movie is a parallel between the good guys and the bad guys, where there is this ongoing conflict of friendship and togetherness and how if you don’t cherish your siblings now, you’ll have to destroy Earth to get them back. Or something. So this naturally leads to Four Immortal Generals dueling four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Except this game decided that would translate to a one-player-versus-four-bosses fight where 75% of the generals are basically invincible summons, and exactly one general has an attack where they get their sword stuck in the floor like a dumbass, and that’s the only time you can retaliate to deplete their shared health bar. So the final battle is another lame “wait for your opening” fight, but with the added indignity of portraying the four generals as invincible, save one bumbling loser. I wonder if his name is Mikey…
Does Krang’s giant robot body appear?
This adventure is extremely light on any in-game fanservice. Sprite versions of the developers do find the time to sneak in and play hacky sack, though. I saw it happen, yet I cannot believe that is a true statement
Is it any fun?
With an upgrade hub/shop between levels, sparring/training with April and Casey Jones, and some great 2-D graphics, TMNT makes a wonderful first impression. Unfortunately, it completely burns any goodwill over the course of the game, as nearly every opponent is far too resilient, and every “gimmick” is repeated until you never want to see it again. An excellent example is the penultimate boss, a sea monster that must be “fed’ to be defeated, and you have to shove a fish down his maw sixteen times. Three times would have proven you understood what to do. Five times would have made sense for a challenging boss. Ten times would be appropriate for proving you can survive in hard mode. But sixteen times? With no variation or change in pattern through all sixteen times? Awful.
Any reason to replay?
There are “trophy challenges” available, but even those are just things like “beat up 100 thugs”. Click those cookies if you are in the mood, and wonder if they could have made Kevin Smith‘s Diner Manager an unlockable character.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Arcade Attack
2009
Nintendo DS
Which Turtles?
The plot here follows something closer to the later seasons of the 2003 cartoon. However, there are strong aesthetic choices meant to be evocative of the original comics. If you didn’t know better, you might think these are the original Eastman/Laird turtles. They are not.
Who is playable?
Apparently, a big critical complaint about the 2007 GBA beat ‘em up was that it did not allow for two players, so this one is permanently two players. You can play as one of the four turtles, and if you do not have a buddy immediately available, an AI turtle will be assigned to assist. Aside from the occasional opportunity to do a Simpsons-esque double attack, friend computer adds nothing.
Are the Turtles any different?
Nope! Different technical statistics again, but they all handle exactly the same. Children, demand special moves in your turtle games, or they will take them away!
What’s the plot?
This is a weird mesh of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fast Forward (2003 TMNT Season 6) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Back to the Sewer (2003 TMNT Season 7). The first half of the game is “Shredder has been defeated, but something weird is happening”, and that “something weird” turns out to be an active time machine. This transports the turtles to the future, where they inexplicably immediately get new clothes (because the turtles are known for their outfit changes), and have to fight future versions of their present opponents. Note that since this plot is extremely thin, the turtles show absolutely zero curiosity about the future, and do not meet anyone but foes.
Is there a radical stage?
Nope! Straight left-to-right belt action from start to finish. Everybody fights through cyberspace at the finale. Are computers radical?
Is there an elevator?
Stockman’s evil laboratory in the future is very Technodrome-y, and contains two elevators. Note that it is separate from Stockman’s evil laboratory in the present, which is all walking.
Are there powerups?
We’ve got random food and weapons again. A “future grenade” (it has a glowy blast radius) is the only new item this time.
Who are your opponents?
The plot pretends Shredder’s Foot are eliminated at the absolute start, so we only see random criminals at the beginning. From there, Foot Soldiers and Mousers enter the fray. Later stages include “future versions” that behave exactly the same as their present counterparts. There is a greater variety of opponents here than in TMNT, but there is still not much of a variety.
Who are the bosses?
A Golden Foot Soldier is meant to showcase the new and different opponents you’ll face in this journey through time… and then it is just old favorites. Karai is being a dishonorable jerk, Baxter Stockman survives a century as a cyborg, and the sensational character find of 2007, Hun with a Bazooka, returns. A boss rush unlocks after beating the game, and it only proves how paltry it is to feature a whole five bosses.
Who is the final boss?
Shredder has been killed before this game even begins, and it is also confirmed from the start that the turtles have fought a “Cyber Shredder” that had a digital existence. But Cyber Shredder has reconstituted in the future, so he must be vanquished in cyberspace. He is… very spikey.
Does Krang’s giant robot body appear?
The reason you get the comics/2003 TMNT fusion here was that this was meant to celebrate some random anniversary for the franchise. So you might expect more cameos than an art style, particularly given how the gang travels to “the future” and “cyberspace”, where anyone with an imagination would guarantee something interesting could happen. But nope! It’s all just an excuse to eventually fight Shredder again! Talking brains are not even mentioned.
Is it any fun?
Playing this one opposite all the other beat ‘em ups in the franchise emphasizes how easy it is to misunderstand the genre. Yes, any given beat ‘em up is punching the same three dudes over and over again, but good beat ‘em ups mix up patterns and configurations enough to keep everything interesting throughout. A bad beat ‘em up is literally the same two or three enemies repeated ad nauseum, and a player gets bored instantly. That was the problem with TMNT GBA, and now this one adds faux 3-D graphics to slow everything down to a crawl. And everybody can block! With no reasonable counters to blocking! It’s bad and slow. So is it any fun? Only as a sleep aid.
Any reason to replay?
You have a time attack mode available, so you can see a distinct counter of how long it takes to replay the whole damn game.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade Wrath of the Mutants
Arcade(ish)
2017/2024
Which Turtles?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles of 2012 Nickelodeon. This would be the era where the Laird/Eastman comics were honored often, but the turtles were drifting back to a “cuter” incarnation.
Who is playable?
The typical four. Leatherhead and Metalhead are summonable “helpers” that will appear for one attack, and then leave. Presumably there would have been more assists available, but they ran out of characters with “head” in their name.
Are the Turtles any different?
The gang plays miraculously alike, with “unique” special attacks that all serve the exact same purpose (hit everybody on the screen). In this case, the turtles have their unique voice actors and canned lines, so at least it feels a little less like you are cycling through color swaps.
What’s the plot?
Shredder kidnapped April. She’ll stay kidnapped through the whole game.
Is there a radical stage?
You get sewer surfing in exactly one level. It does not last for the whole sewer, and it is more or less simply an excuse to fight pizza monsters.
Is there an elevator?
Multiple! You’ve got elevators leading to the final boss, elevators in the TCRI building, and elevators that are just excuses to fight Foot Soldiers. Actually, that is how you would describe any elevator in this game…
Are there powerups?
Pizzas restore health, there are summons for your buddies, projectile attacks are often available about halfway through a boss, smoke bombs “confuse” everyone on the screen, you can throw a cat, and there are weird little boosts to your super gauge that occasionally add literally nothing. There is also a pickup that transforms your turtle into an invincible wrecking ball for something like three (glorious) seconds.
Who are your opponents?
We have a variety of Foot Soldiers, mousers, and Ultrom Agents running around. Ultrom traditionally wield ranged weapons, while the Foot Soldiers barely ever get a shuriken. Oh! There’s this one Foot Soldier that runs around with a spear, and he is a jerk.
Who are the bosses?
We’ll take the console port’s full list here: Bebop & Rocksteady are joined by Rahzar (previously Dogpound) & Fishface. Everybody fights alone, though, so no teamups this time. We’ve also got the Creep, Chrome Dome, Baxter Stockman (fly form), and Shredder’s #1 daughter, Karai. Every single boss has an extremely similar pattern, complete with a “shockwave” attack that will hit every non-jumping turtle. That makes a certain amount of sense with Rocksteady, but not so much with Karai.
Who is the final boss?
Shredder is fought in his iconic lair, and then (if playing at home) he mutates up to Super Shredder form. He is the only boss in the game with two forms (or even a slight variation in attack patterns), so this is a bit of a surprise.
Does Krang’s giant robot body appear?
Classic 80’s Krang is the midboss of one level that eventually upgrades to a slightly different, more Gilbert Gottfried-based Krang as the finale. He also appears in the background of one stage to fire eye lasers. The background appearance is such an obvious nod to his same purpose in Turtles in Time that it almost feels like plagiarism in this lesser beat ‘em up.
Is it any fun?
Kinda? It’s a beat ‘em up, and there are generally the right components available here. It is quantifiably less boring than the Ubisoft titles. Unfortunately, it is a beat ‘em up designed for modern arcades (aka Dave & Buster’s), so every stage/boss is almost exactly the same, with only the slightest changes between areas and opponents to match aesthetics. And speaking of aesthetics, the stage selection here is about as generic as it gets for hero turtles, so don’t expect a fun adventure through time and space. Also? I played through this whole thing on the Nintendo Switch, and that port is rough and full of weird delays. That doesn’t help!
Any reason to replay?
Your score is tracked, and there are high score tables, so maybe you want to go back and knock Krang off the top spot on a second playthrough. Or maybe you could move on to our next game…
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge
2022
Nintendo Switch, Playstation 4/5, Xbox One, PC
Which Turtles?
We have now circled back to the 1987 animated batch. While that series did partially exist to sell toys, this “version” is more toygetic than any previous appearance. This is a cardboard-based continuity.
Who is playable?
Four turtles plus some pals that should have been playable since the 80’s. Splinter and Casey Jones are obvious combatants, and April O’Neil is now allowed to play with the boys, too. DLC adds a samurai rabbit and Karai.
Are the Turtles any different?
Playable characters are close enough in style that you will not be upset if you get stuck playing as Leonardo, but contain a multitude of differences. While things like their different stats and special attacks seem significant, what is really important is that everyone has a unique taunt. Keep playing that Gameboy, Donny!
What’s the plot?
The Foot Clan leads the turtles on a merry chase across New York City and Dimension X as they attempt to gather all the parts of Krang’s robot body. Just when you start wondering why the big brain doesn’t just build a new one, it is revealed that the whole adventure was a distraction from the real prize…
Is there a radical stage?
Finally! Sky surfing! We are past 2015, so turtles can now battle through the skies of New York on a hoverboard. Mind you, every Foot Soldier in the area apparently has flight capability now, too. Nobody is allowed to enjoy anything. We also have a traditional skateboarding stage, and some manner of Dimension X surfing, too.
Is there an elevator?
There is a building-based elevator, and a Technodrome-based elevator. Somebody understood those NES titles!
Are there powerups?
Pizza can restore health, grant invulnerable wreckin’, or allow for infinite super attacks. It really is the perfect food!
Who are your opponents?
The old ways are best. Foot Soldiers appear in new and interesting forms (there is variation just within the first level, left alone every other bit of the game), and they have mousers, terminator-mousers, pizza monsters, stone warriors, and Roadkill Rodneys to join them. Triceratons join the general fray for the first time in a 1987 beat ‘em up (despite appearing on the cover of Manhattan Project).
Who are the bosses?
We haven’t seen this many bosses in eons! We’ve got Baxter Stockman (fly mode), Bebop & Rocksteady, Groundchuck & Dirtbag, Leatherhead, Metalhead, Rat King, Slash, Tempestra (with Tokka & Rahzar as buddies), Wingnut, General Traag, and Captain Zorax. Somebody even snuck a few Mother Mousers in there!
Who is the final boss?
Shredder gets his revenge under traditional circumstances during the penultimate stage, and then returns for the final challenge as Super Shredder. He’s invincible for much of the match, and can only be damaged during “recharging” periods. It is the opinion of gogglebob.com that this is a terrible pattern for any videogame boss (who doesn’t like dodging forever?), but it is going to be allowed this time. Previous games had a “Super” Shredder that only had a bonus sword! At least he lives up to his name for once.
Does Krang’s giant robot body appear?
It’s the whole point of the plot! And Krang appears in his “regular” robot body before taking over the friggen’ Statue of Liberty as The Statue of Tyranny. Damn, Krang, that is an evil plan!
Is it any fun?
God damn is it fun. This is the best balance of TMNT beat ‘em up gameplay available. And the fanservice is unstoppable! If this one kicked the leveling system to the curb (personal preference? why are you complicating my beat ‘em up with upgradable stats?), this would be 100% made for just me. But I guess other kids can play, too.
Any reason to replay?
Aside from the collectibles and challenges in every level? Aside from new DLC characters and challenges? Aside from this being one of the best in the genre in decades? Yeah, just go ahead and replay this one. Unlike some “arcade” experiences, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge gets nothing but glowing praise. This is the reason beat ‘em ups exist, and the reason I have no problem replaying ‘em when I get the chance. Just keep Ubisoft away from the genre…
FGC #668 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Arcade Wrath of the Mutants
- System: For dating purposes, this article puts today’s game at its 2017 arcade release, but it got a port to Playstation 4, Playstation 5, Nintendo Switch, Xbox One, Xbox X|S, and Steam as of 2024. Technically, it was the recent port that upgraded this curiosity to featured article.
- Number of players: Four players can each choose a turtle.
- Local Heroes: Yes, I can play this game at the arcade if I want
But it doesn’t give me any trading cards like its Injustice neighbor, so why would I bother? - Favorite Turtle: Donny is not at the right of the cabinet, and is stuck in the middle with Mikey. I don’t care if that has been normal since the 80’s! Give that bo staff some room to breathe!
- Special Interface: The arcade cabinet has a big, glowing green button for activating special moves. While this is the exact same mechanic in the home version, it is not nearly as satisfying to smack a simple shoulder button to clear a screen of soldiers. Guess there is a reason to leave your basement occasionally…
- Favorite Stage: The arcade version has incredibly generic stages (Street! Sewer! A Building!), but the home version adds Dimension X and an Amusement Park. Dimension X looks like what would happen if the color purple infected every inch of the planet, but the Amusement Park at least adds a cool haunted house. Come to think of it, these ninja should team up with Scooby Doo at least once…
Favorite Boss: All the bosses play/fight exactly the same, so I’ll choose Xever Montes aka Fishface. He’s a big, dumb fish with robot legs. He used to be cool. Now he’s a fish. What more could you want?- You’ll Pay for That: The arcade version might be missing two levels, but it is also the only version that includes a boss rush in the final stage. This is… an obvious way to drain the wallets of children desperate to defeat Shredder. Or maybe it is compensating for a lack of Super Shredder? Whatever the case, you’ll be fighting everybody but Krang(s) again.
- Did you know? There were a pair of TMNT games published by Activision in 2013 and 2014. They were both games more in the X-Men Legends mold, with turtle switching and distinct leveling, so they do not fit the proper beat ‘em up parameters of this article. However, they are getting a mention, because they were released a year apart, both are named “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” with no subtitle or further explanation, and they are both based on completely different franchises. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2013) features the 2012 Nickelodeon Turtles of today’s game, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) stars the Michael Bay movie turtles. Way to screw up the Google searches with two sucky games, Activision.
- Would I play again? It looks like there are a lot of other options for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle beat ‘em ups, so I am going to choose literally any of them over this one. Sorry, Tigerclaw!
What’s next? I desire further turtle soup! We have seen collaborative turtles, but what happens when they don’t cooperate? We’re going to find out! Please look forward to it!
