Superman: Man of Games 06: The Man of Steel

The Xbox has its own private Superman game that has not been ported elsewhere. It isn’t even backwards compatible with future Xbox consoles. And is it any good? No!
… Sorry for the spoilers.

Superman: The Man of Steel
2002
Circus Freak / Atari
Xbox

Available Superpowers:

• Flight (unlimited)
• Super Strength (lifting/punching things)
• Frost Breath
• Heat Vision
• X-Ray Vision
• Telescoping Vision
• Super Speed
• Super Hearing (for that damned map pointer)

Noted Opponents:

• Brainiac 13
• Bizarro
• Mongul
• Metallo
• Cyborg Superman
• So, so many robots

Is Superman Invincible?
No, but you are more likely to fail from a “defeated” building or other escort mission of some kind. Superman can soak a lot of bullets: random hostages and radio towers cannot.

Is Superman Homicidal?
Your rivals are robots and aliens again, so we are in the clear on the whole “killing humans” aspect. Mind you, if you flunk those previously mentioned escort missions, you are killing the good people of Metropolis through Super Failure.

Is it any fun?
It would be enjoyable if the checkpoint system was a little more forgiving. Unfortunately, you are repeatedly given tasks that have dramatically variable goals, and if you miss a single one, you are back at the start. Get ready to watch the stream and not see past Mission 2!

Charm Point
The city of Metropolis looks distinctive and imposing. You barely ever have a reason to go down to street level, but it is believable that this could be a livable city (where everyone is currently sheltering in place due to robot invasions).

Even Worse Streams Presents Superman
Night 6

Random Notes:

• BEAT, fanboymaster, Cassandralyn, and I are here and thanking God for lateral thinking.
• “It’s a really cool idea that they don’t do much with,” is said early, and is the moral of the night.
• BEAT has been playing (OG) Final Fantasy 7, so we talk about that old mainstay while Superman attempts to save Metropolis.
• AJ Vark joins to extreme confusion.
• A new videogame store opened by AJ. It may or may not be in a mall, and smell like pine.
• A history of online capable videogame consoles is addressed. Go Dreamcast!
• “He is an evil tree full of wizard ghosts.”
• Caliscrub joins as I “grow testy and impatient.”
• “Can you remember the last time they made a show about an echidna? I don’t!”
• Ample Vigour joins just in time for an out of context Bojack Horseman joke. He understands it immediately.
• Ample Vigour and fanboymaster consider nWo Souled Out and giant garbage trucks (which are legally airships).
• At 1:40:00, I give up and move on to Toejam & Earl 3. In case you are not watching the stream and only reading notes, I was stuck on the same stupid “radio tower” escort mission forever, and could bear it no longer. And Toejam & Earl 3 has aliens in it. It’s like Superman!
• “This game sucks, but not in a super interesting way.”
• Toejam & Earl 3 fails as we determine every game is garbage. Also, Screaming Red Skull joins on the voice side of things for a change.
• And then it is time for Raze’s Hell.
• This was the night Nintendo granted the N64 virtual console two new games: Extreme-G and Iggy’s Reckin’ Balls.
• Axel did 9/11. Got it memorized?
• Penny Arcade’s excellent controller comic is discussed. Truly, one of the all-time greats.
• And we call it a night as we agree to never Raze Hell again. Sorry, Xbox, you’re going back in the closet.

On the previous boring Superman issue: Bizarro! I’m helping! Bizarro!