Superman: Man of Games 05 (Early Playstations)

November 17, 2001 saw the premiere of Justice League, the animated series that brought us further adventures of Superman after the culmination of his solo animated series. But Superman had only stopped producing episodes the previous year, so there were still a few more games to squeeze out of that specific franchise…

Superman: The New Adventures
2000 (unreleased)
Titus
Playstation

Available Superpowers:

• Flight (unlimited)
• Super Strength (lifting/punching)
• Heat Vision
• Freeze Breath
• Super Speed… for shoulder ramming

Noted Opponents:

• Spider Robots
• Humanoid Robots
• Kryptonite Balls
• Metallo
• Parasite
• Mr. Mxyzptlk
• Lex Luthor
• Lexoskel 5000
• Brainiac

Is Superman Invincible?
There is a bizarre system in place for damage penalties. Basically, you get hit by something green, and Superman loses all his superpowers for a hot minute. This often means you cannot complete any of the timed challenges, so it works out to a one-hit kill. Good idea, but terrible implementation. At least lava doesn’t hurt!

Is Superman Homicidal?
Your opponents are mostly robots and supervillains, so Superman does not get to sate his bloodlust. You are also punished for so much as glancing at a hostage the wrong way (heat vision is the wrong way), so be a good Big Blue Boy Scout.

Is it any fun?
No! It is a different take on Superman 64. Not better. Just different.

Charm Point
Superman lies on his back like a helpless turtle on the game over screen. Poor widdle invincible man-god.

Superman: Shadow of Apokolips
2002
Infogrames
Playstation 2, Nintendo Gamecube

Available Superpowers:

• Flight (unlimited)
• Super Strength (lifting, punching, floor slamming)
• Super(ish) Speed
• X-Ray Vision
• Super Hearing
• Heat Vision (recharges)
• Super Breath (recharges)
• Super Spinning (recharges)

Noted Opponents:

• A Helicopter
• Random Robot Crooks
• Darkseid
• Lex Luthor
• Metallo
• Parasite
• Livewire

Is Superman Invincible?
I stuck a cheat code on there so his health would restore quickly, but under normal circumstances, he is pretty damn vulnerable. The excuse is that Intergang is using “advanced weaponry”, but that doesn’t explain Livewire’s upgrade, now does it?

Is Superman Homicidal?
All random crooks are supposed to be Foot Ninja Intergang Robots, so Supes has his hands clean this time.

Is it any fun?
We are getting somewhere! There are too many powers here for one super man to handle, so too many levels give their valuable time to stopping the action for “detective vision” or “let’s build a bridge” moments. That said, what is there is generally enjoyable. You could have been playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City or Kingdom Hearts back in 2002, but this wouldn’t be the worst B choice.

Charm Point
Superman’s spin is a whirling dervish of destruction. Is his cape solid now?

Even Worse Streams Presents Superman
Night 5

Random Notes:

• Cassandralyn, fanboymaster, BEAT, Ample Vigour, and I are here to bring you Superman: The Real Battle on Film!
• Or maybe it is just a cancelled version of Superman on the Playstation 1. Watch Supes back that Super Ass up.
• Superman earns a game over by killing a hostage through a wall. Huh!
• Caithness joins as we are reviewing hideous adult tricycles.
• Oh yes, this was the day a telemarketer called me a pussy and hung up. Rude!
• Okay! We didn’t even make it out of the mine, and it is time to move on to the next Playstation.
• Welcome to the PS2! Cel shading ain’t a bad way to make a Superman.
• “Nobody on drugs has ever had a burrito.” “It’s illegal!”
• Seiken Densetsu: Legend of Mana is indeed legendary.
• And then BEAT talks about his Japan trip! For like five minutes!
• AJ Vark joins briefly as we bumble around with x-ray vision.
• Caliscrub asks how many supersmen have been played at this point. One for the night, but this is our fourteenth Superman title within the project.
• Some of these cutscene models are weird. Remember the Justice League Unlimited action figures from the first decade of the 2000’s? They were triangles.
• This was also the day they announced Keanu Reeves would be our new Shadow the Hedgehog. Marvel as Ample Vigour learns this information for the first time.
• “Of course there’s a whole Gorilla City!”
• “Oh? Are we talking about Watchmen? Again?”
• Enjoy fanboymaster’s thoughts on the God of War franchise/divorce. “Maybe Zeus should have kept it in his pants!”
• BEAT relays that the Yankees are the most popular baseball team… in Japan.
• And we face the final boss while discussing the finale of the Superman Animated Series. Will this be the last game based on that franchise? Kinda sorta!

Next chilling Superman issue: Circus freaks give us a strong man.