Metroids 7: Logs

Beam Lady vs. Space Piggies 2 is not an official Metroid game, so it should not be included in a discussion of “how did this influence the franchise”. That said, random bits of Beam Lady vs. Space Piggies 2 have snuck into the Metroid series proper. The charged “line of bombs”, for instance, has less in common with the Super Metroid charged bomb drop, and is very reminiscent of the later Metroid Dread cross bomb. Metroid Dread also featured a Chozo fight where someone finally remembered these bird people have wings, which draws a direct comparison to the flying Chozo statue (Torizo, which I am moderately certain is a sandwich topping) found defending the Space Jump in Beam Lady vs. Space Piggies 2. Whether Nintendo wants to admit it or not, Beam Lady vs. Space Piggies 2 apparently oozed into the franchise proper.

But one aspect of Beam Lady vs. Space Piggies 2 that never reappeared in 2-D Metroid titles? Text log entries.

The Metroid Prime series was very well received by Metroid fans, and seemed to be the console home of Samus Aran for years. 2-D Metroid was relegated exclusively to the ghetto of portable systems, and the real Metroid titles were the first person explore ‘em ups. And the Metroid Prime trilogy was lousy with log entries! Every monster, item, creature, and door (and a few interesting rocks) had attendant log entries. There were thousands of words about Space Pirate biology! If the Metroid Prime Trilogy produced a textbook outlining all of its lore, it would be roughly as thick as two Gastons. The designers of Beam Lady vs. Space Piggies 2 saw the writing on the wall (which could be read with the Scan Visor), and implemented a complete lore/log system. It made sense, right? If the Metroid franchise was now all about those words, the next “real” 2-D Metroid would follow suit, too.

But it was not to be. The next official remake of Metroid 2 did not include intensive lore, and Metroid Dread only kept track of tutorials/conversations in save rooms. Metroid Dread went the “worth a thousand words” route, and stuck its “lore entries” into a few interpretive illustrations. And that’s cool! It means we can spend the next decade debating what bird people were doing with their own Kraid! However, it means a whole lot less words were involved in future Metroid games, and Beam Lady vs. Space Piggies 2 managed to miss the mark on including all that text.

C’est la vie. Who needs a bunch of words about a space pig anyway?

Even Worse Streams Presents Metroids
Beam Lady vs. Space Piggies 2
Night 9

Random Notes:

• Welcome to ASMR2: Return of ASMR. BEAT, fanboymaster, Cassandralyn, and myself are ready to play through this totally legitimate videogame.
• For no particular reason, we talk about Nintendo and its history of executing fan games.
• Alpha Piggies lead to what will be a meme for the rest of the series:
  

  Piggy! Commissioned by Caliscrub, (amazing) art by Yuzu.

• Caliscrub joins as we note Ridley will not be appearing tonight. … Or ever again on the stream.
• AJ Vark joins as we try to figure out how gravity bugs work.
• Ample Vigour joins to announce that Charlie Brown had hoes. This leads to a surprisingly thoughtful examination of Charlie Brown and his position with hoes and drugs.
• BEAT is, according to his best friend, “a relentless bullying machine.”
• Ashita no Joe and boxing manga is discussed as we fight a little rolling ball monster that we may have seen before.
• Then it is time for everyone to gaze upon the sins of the filters.
• We find the Varia Suit as we discuss paying for the sake of paying… Or… something. A.I. pay pigs? Not my bag.
• The Torizo statue is fought as we once again remember to not PewDiePie too hard.
• As we earn the Speed Booster, please enjoy a story of Snoop Dogg interacting with gaming press.
• Some random Space Jump-based Space Piggy is defeated as we discuss the “studio system” of Disney films.
• An Axiom Verge-esque droid is controlled opposite a conversation about our favorite Brave and the Bold issues. Best Batman friend: Satan or the Atom?
• Toyman: Superman’s greatest foe?
• And we break for the night just as we get past the drill bot with Pooch prompting a quick discussion on the potential of CGI Stan Lee.

Beam Lady vs. Space Piggies 2
Night 10

Random Notes:

• BEAT, fanboymaster, Ample Vigour, and myself are all here for another week of talking about “Japan’s Tom Clancy” doing a racism.
• Cassandralyn reveals she has been here the whole time as we discuss cigars and encounter a Zeta Space Piggy.
• Caliscrub is here for an examination of bad Gameboy Color games. This leads to probing fanboymaster’s favorite game, The Last Guardian.
• The cool little exploding cooling area reveals there are some unique spots in this “remake” as we talk about failed streaming service DC Universe.
• Fun fact: I have strong opinions on Iron Man 3 and the Mandarin. I have even stronger opinions on Fu Manchu being invented by a Ouija Board.
• This was recorded back when Aqua Teen Hunger Force first returned. This is an important event for us. Also: I got lost in the sewers.
• AJ Vark arrives with a sea monster that requires a frosty reprisal.
• Please enjoy some fanboymaster versus Goggle Bob Mega Man X5 vs Mega Man X6 discourse straight out of the turn of the millennium.
• During the final runup, Cassandralyn reveals she often confused The Last of Us for This is Us. This is perhaps the best crossover opportunity ever.
• Facing down the Queen Space Piggy leads to a lot of backseat driving from my esteemed colleagues.
• And we finish as we plan the downfall of the hated ASIMO.

Next time on Metroids: Ball-based.

What does happen if they fall on your head?