Metroids 6: Zero Suit Samus

Metroid: Zero Mission’s discarded concept is titular and prominent: we have not seen Samus Aran stuck fighting pirates in her Zero Suit since 2004.

Zero Suit Samus is an integral part of Super Smash Bros. She was the first character to exist as a “Final Smash Switch”, and the second Metroid representative in the franchise (we got three different Samuses before we saw the distinct Ridley). She is literally the fasted character in the game (eat it, Sonic), and was the only woman in the cast that could throw a decent kick before Bayonetta. But Zero Suit Samus outside of Smash? She has been playable twice: once in today’s Metroid: Zero Mission, and for one sequence at the absolute finale of Metroid: Other M. Given M:oM’s escape was little more than a playable cutscene (you can’t even shoot!), Metroid: Zero Mission has been the only Metroid title where a playable Zero Suit Samus got to stretch her legs.

And Zero Suit Samus… Well… You can see how they adapted much of ZMS’s gameplay in other Metroid titles. Metroid Fusion had a few encounters with SA-X, and Samus was forced to flee in every situation. ZSS gameplay takes that to the next level: Samus is left without her Power Suit, so she must crawl and rely on a stun gun. Since these abilities are meager compared to her usual arsenal, stealth is now encouraged. You can survive a fire fight with skill and a little luck, but you wouldn’t want to. This kind of gameplay would eventually become a part of Metroid Dread, where Samus had to play hide and seek with the EMMI. You have your full Power Suit there (and even a few powerups that are literally built for this), but the EMMI is inexplicably invincible, so your beams and e-tanks will not save you. It is best to cautiously crawl around EMMI’s arena. And that creates an analogy to make the SATs proud: Zero Suit Samus : Space Pirates :: Power Suit Samus : EMMI.

But even if “her gameplay” reappears, you will note that Zero Suit Samus does not return in a playable form in Metroid Dread. Why? Well, it couldn’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that Zero Suit Samus is portrayed as the worst. EMMIs are supreme mechanical monsters that can only be felled by a hyper beam. That’s the same weapon you needed to take down Mother Brain! Space Pirates, meanwhile, are generic cannon fodder that can normally be dispatched by the bunch with a missile or two. Hell, a Wave Beam/Plasma Beam combo will clear out a room in a handful of shots. But now those lobster people are practically invincible, because Samus Aran is apparently as weak as a kitten without her Power Suit. Forget that Smash-based unstoppable force that can kick Mario into the stratosphere, Zero Suit Samus is nothing. Metroid: Other M even emphasizes this throughout its plot, as Zero Suit Samus “appears” during times of severe emotional stress and anxiety. The inadvertent message is clear: our heroine is at her most natural when she is frail. And that is the opposite of how Samus Aran should be!

So consider it a good thing that Zero Suit Samus has not returned…

Even Worse Streams Presents Metroids
Metroid: Zero Mission
Night 7

Random Notes:

• Let’s get started! BEAT is in the pilot’s seat, with fanboymaster, AJ Vark, and me commenting. BEAT will now make more progress in Zero Mission than he ever has before.
• We all discuss our Metroid experiences, from Metroid Fusion making a splash to Super Metroid somehow not being regarded as godly. I don’t even know these people…
• Cassandralyn joins as BEAT becomes the Joker and we discuss random work training videos.
• Samus finds her first unanalyzed item as we learn there is not a Sonic the Hedgehog rom hack for Metroid Zero Mission. Boo.
• “Thank you for your bomb jump, BEAT.”
• Caliscrub joins as BEAT continues ‘troidin’.
• Please enjoy a dramatic reading of the full Rock-On intro. NOW LET’S GO FOR IT!!!
• “Tell the rat I want him to know it was me.” That is all we will say as we defeat the conveyer belt worm.
• Which is the better direction: left or west? BEAT is trapped in Kraid (the area), and needs to know.
• Kraid (the boss) is defeated as the Ramones’ rap career is discussed.
• The Varia Suit is obtained as BEAT notes he is not the most patient man in the world. Who knew?
• “The Beatles have a new song?” “Everything about that question fills me with dread.”
• After some trial and error, BEAT earns himself an early Screw Attack. And that’s where we quit for the night.

Night 8

Random Notes:

• BEAT, fanboymaster, and I are here to ask, “Why call it Mother Brain when you can call it Murder Brain?”
• Spoilers: we will find Ridley the space dragon in Ridley the area.
• BEAT engages Ridley as we discuss the horrors of Philly sports fanatics. I have firsthand experience in this matter.
• Caliscrub joins as we discuss the then-upcoming Super Mario RPG remake. Or, as fanboymaster sees it, “remake”.
• “There’s gonna be asses… That was a weird moment for my wife to walk in. I’ll be right back.”
• As we approach Tourian, we cannot stop talking about the racism of Clayfighter 63 ⅓.
• BEAT has a little difficulty with Mother Brain, but he triumphs with aplomb. Or a bomb.
• And then it is time for BEAT to experience Zero Suit shenanigans for the first time.
• Samus reclaims her powersuit, and now BEAT is ready for revenge.
• AJ Vark joins as we hunt some power bombs.
• Robo Ridley is bad and he should feel bad.
• And thus does BEAT succeed and help Samus out into space through a very cranky robot.

Next time on Metroids: Not legally a Metroid in any way.