Metroids 5: Diffusion Missiles

If we were tackling this project before 2021, examining what was dropped since Metroid Fusion would be easy. Despite multiple Metroid titles being released since Metroid Fusion’s 2002 premiere, nearly all of those games ignored much of Metroid Fusion. The “new” Samus of Metroid Fusion was squishier than ever before, and the lack of an ice beam radically altered the heroine we all knew and loved. But it seems that those changes were ignored in future releases not because Metroid Fusion was poorly received, but simply because no one wanted to replicate Metroid-Samus before her proper existence in the timeline. When Metroid Dread hit the streets nearly two decades after Fusion, we once again started with the “organic” Samus Aran that needed a sweater to visit the ZDR’s North Pole. X-eating Samus was back, baby, and so much that seemed forgotten from Fusion returned with her.

But what did never return from Metroid Fusion? Diffusion Missiles.

If you think about it, Diffusion Missiles were always going to be the odd man out. A significant portion of Metroid Fusion is given over to Samus Aran recovering her Super Metroid arsenal. And, while that is normal in every Metroid game that isn’t claiming to be the first outing (come back next week, true believer!), it is emphasized in Metroid Fusion, as Samus has literally had her “old” suit torn away and discarded. Since a return to normalcy is the goal, there are very few outright new powerups for Samus to find. Ice Missiles are a workaround for Samus to use a variation on the Ice Beam (that, not coincidentally, makes the whole “freezing monsters for platforms” a lot more streamlined). Past that, the only wholly new powerup is the Diffusion Missile. Lob a Diffusion Missile at an opponent, and it scatters “snowflakes” around in a circle, potentially freezing other, difficult-to-target critters in the area.

And… uh… that’s it. It works well for hitting approximately three awkwardly placed opponents in the space station, and it does not impact bosses. It adds nothing.

But, while the Diffusion Missile was an evolutionary dead end, it does have a spiritual successor. The Diffusion Beam premiered in Metroid: Other M, and returned again in Metroid Dread. It similarly has very limited usage, but at least its standing as a beam means it does not eat up ammo. And it works as an unevolved version of the Wave Beam, too, so that at least adds a little spiritual oomph. While it is not nearly as satisfying as finding the Plasma Beam, the Diffusion Beam is less of a key for a lock, and more like progress.

So good hustle, Diffusion Missile. You may be gone, but your legacy lives on.

Even Worse Streams Presents Metroids
Metroid Fusion
Night 6

Random Notes:

• Something different this week: Metroid Fusion will be “raced”, with BEAT and Goggle Bob as participants. We start with fanboymaster on commentary. Also, for full disclosure, BEAT attempted a Metroid Fusion run the previous week, but the recording got borked. Oh well. Count us down, fanboymaster!
• As we get going, I recount how there must be a lot of suicidal people in my area, which is why pizzas made out of grilled cheeses are available.
• AJ Vark joins briefly as we discuss Super Mario Bros. Advance 4: Super Mario Bros. 3.
• (Also, I’m winning)
• Dinosaurs’ I’m the Baby (Gotta Love Me) spreads through the chat like a virus.
• Caliscrub joins as BEAT and I simultaneously face Serris the sea monster.
• Ample Vigour joins as I lower waters and BEAT still struggles with that serpent.
• “I am never not sinking into a quagmire of my own selfishness.”
• Let’s learn the lessons of The Monster Mash and its descendants.
• fanboymaster goes back to playing We ❤ Katamari only after enough people (now including Cassandralyn) are watching the stream live. Yay?
• “Videogames are for suffering.”
• Tank nerds are scary. Train nerds are awesome. Also: BEAT concedes, and I take over the stream. He lasted an hour and a half. That’s great!
• To answer my question that goes unanswered in the stream: “Too Many Grandmas” was the movie seen by Homer Simpson and Larry Burns (Rodney Dangerfield) in The Simpsons. It was not from The Critic (which gets discussed).
• Disney, ditch the green screens, and film in actual bars. Restaurants love plaques.
• We pick up the Power Bombs just as we realize the art of Frasier has been lost.
• And we nab the Gravity Suit as we explore the ghoulish world of reusing dead actors.
• As Samus moves past Nightmare, please enjoy the history of Elf Bowling entombing.
• Next up: an oral history of an oral history of Street Fighter: The Movie: The Game.
• As we reach the Metroid lab, we examine the possibility of Resident Evil 4: The Gacha.
• “Surely Multiversus will come back from the cigarette store.”
• And Samus finally saves the universe as we attempt to sing Biz Markie.

Next time on Metroid: Moving forward to go back to the beginning.