Xenogears 02: Fei in the Desert

And so we again look to the story of Fei Fong Wong.

Fei had tasted -the power- of the enormous Weltall, but forsaken it, as that same power that could have saved his village destroyed it and the people he loved. Without a home or the support of his tribe, Fei visited the nearby Dazil. There, he tried to secure transportation with his last remaining friend, Citan. But when Citan entered the desert alone, Fei chased after him. Fei thought his friend was in danger! And he was! The poor, human Citan was being menaced by enormous Gears not unlike those that had ruined Fei’s life. Fei had but one choice: again pilot the Weltall, and rescue his most loyal companion.

But then the devil came down to Dazil.

The devil came to Fei and said, “If you are the Slayer of God, then why did you slay your friends?”

Fei answered, “It is written: ‘ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Here lies a fiancée no one should trust.’”

Then the devil took step atop his Gear and said, “Slayer of God,” he said, “I brought those Gears to your village. How did you fail so thoroughly?”

Fei answered him, “If you hadn’t come, the village would not have suffered the way it did. You cannot be the person who judges me for an act you instigated.”

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the deserts of the world and their sandiness. ”Imagine -the power- I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”

Fei said to him, “Away from me, Grahf! For it is written: ‘Honor thy Dad, I mean thy Father.’”

And then the devil got huffy, and left Fei a giant sandworm to fight. And then Fei got captured, regained his giant robot, and had to fight through a stupid dungeon for like three hours. But Balthasar confirmed evolution was a real thing during that little adventure, so we’re not going to talk about that…

Even Worse Streams presents Xenogears
Night 2

Original Stream Night: January 12, 2021
Night of The Monster Rancher

Random Notes on the Stream

• Welcome to our second town! There’s a lot of sand. We’re going to start with a discussion of some dumb anime, like Suppose a Kid from the Last Dungeon Boonies moved to a starter town? … That is the whole title of a show…
• We would like to publicly state that Even Worse Streams does not in any way condone slavery.
• Caliscrub enters as Citan talks to Fei about stuff he absolutely shouldn’t know.
• Hey, did you know The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is a great game? It totally is, and better at triggering flags than Xenogears.
• Fei wanders the desert as we try to figure out if Dude, Where’s My Car is a real movie that happened.
• We are all impressed by Fei getting a free motorcycle like KOS-MOS. A franchise staple!
• Is it weird that I am nostalgic for references to BEAT’s old, banned Twitter account?
• Xenogears once again is compared to Chrono Cross and the infamous “you are the Chrono Trigger speech”.
• And the first video ends as we are kidnapped by soldiers/discuss eyeballs.

• Hey, if you didn’t catch it yet, Xenogears is Star Wars. We got captured by Tusken Raiders.
• BEAT appreciates zooming in on people-pixels. The rest of us are not impressed.
• Bart the Sand Pirate is assumed horny until proven otherwise. This will never be proven otherwise.
• I cannot believe Caliscrub keeps watching Tusk instead of Xenogears as Fei… dies. Sorry! Didn’t walk fast enough! Quick restart!
• Bart arrives! And his mech only has one eye!
• BEAT read ahead! He knows about Chu Chu already!
• Our first Gear dungeon! Oh boy jumping around a cave! Because you can (not) fly.
• Confirmed: BEAT has beaten Chrono Trigger, but has not collected any cats.
• We like talking about Geno and Bowser the Furry.
• As Segment 2 ends, Fanboymaster goads me into explaining how the Gears’ tech points work. I would like to do that… if I knew what the hell they did.

• “Just let me commit a war crime” – BEAT
• Balthasar appears! He is one of those guys that makes robots good.
• The Japanese names of the three sages of Chrono Trigger are Hash, Basch, and Gasch. Their American names start popping up around here in Xenogears…
• And then there’s a discussion on the Biblical Elijah. We can talk about something other than Aqua Teen Hunger Force!
• Oh, hey, this dungeon goes on forever while we are reminded this whole streaming thing was once called Dog Street Streams.
• Penguin Drum and Revolutionary Girl Utena are discussed as Old Man Bal talks about the inevitable Omnigear.
• We’re leaving the cave! By going down! It makes perfect sense!
• Opposite the boss battle with a foreshadowing Gear the Queen biopic is discussed. That movie also had a lot of cats.
• Pretty much everyone disappears as we explore the Yggdrasil and discuss the future of Xenogears… Wait! BEAT comes back! Then it’s over!

Next time on Xenogears: Let’s Fight!