Chapter 4: The Fight to End all Funkos
Initial Stream: 9/22/20
1:14 – Thus begins Night 2. I have hacked every item into World of Final Fantasy, and that should make things go smoother. Reference is made to my Wild Arms 2 Let’s Play when I had to restart the entire adventure thanks to similar shenanigans… but I’ve learned nothing, so here we are.
5:00 – The terrible pathfinding of our Tails-like compatriot is discussed. Also, I didn’t take ten minutes to repeat the entirety of this dungeon because I forgot what I was doing, I was just getting reacquainted with the game. Yeah… that’s the ticket.
11:00 – I have to mess with a few menus before getting going, and then officially Chapter 4 begins… So let’s discuss mobile game advertising, my lord.
16:00 – The Captain of the Guard appears here. He will be relevant in like twenty minutes. I also want to state for the record that I like dogs, they just get in the way of things on occasion. Anyone that has ever had to shove a collie out of the kitchen knows what I’m talking about. I’m not a monster!
18:00 – Our next “dungeon” is a massive battlefield featuring a fight between Cornerian forces and the invading Bahamutian army. Unfortunately, it’s one of those deals where there’s a tiny “path” (viewable on the minimap), and you can’t explore anything remotely outside of the path. Boo.
22:00 – Persona 5 is discussed. One day I’ll make it through Persona 5 Royal, but, in the meanwhile, please enjoy this referenced Gogglebob discussion/interview about how it’s pretty damn misogynistic.
28:00 – Dungeon continues unabated, so let’s discuss everyone’s first Playstation game after some Bioshock “hacking”.
35:00 – The Warrior of Light of kinda Final Fantasy 1 and definitely Final Fantasy Dissidia appears! So let’s have a boss battle against a particularly large goblin.
40:00 – Shadowy villains lurk in the shadows, and they have shadowy lips… sometimes.
What actually happened in the plot: The twins distinctly remember bits of their childhood and their mom, which seems significant. Also, anonymous NPCs can become “champions” like the Warrior of Light according to legends of mediums. The Bahamutian Army is apparently being led by evil knights that are actually just empty armor, but maybe the real villains just awoke thanks to our heroes?
Chapter 5: Go Climb a Tree
Initial Stream: 9/22/20
00:00- Picking up immediately where the previous chapter ended, BEAT attempts to hold me accountable with my own words. I think he does a pretty good impersonation of yours truly.
3:00 – We’re going to Soronia (original appearance: Final Fantasy 3[J]) opposite spam comments in the stream. Apparently we have to venture through Final Fantasy 10’s Pyreglow Forest (there is no spam there).
8:00 – My dedicated spam bot is reported as we venture through a forest. Or up a giant tree? Directions are a pain.
20:00 – You try catching a baby behemoth that eventually dies anyway while talking about zodiac signs! It’s not easy!
29:00 – Special thanks to whoever was responsible for writing World of Final Fantasy’s monster descriptions, as some entries, like this rap-battling lizard, are the bee’s knees.
33:00 – Moogles apparently need to be healed to be captured, and it doesn’t seem like scan/libra provides that information. BEAT helpfully looks it up, and then talks about Save Toby, a website dedicated to maybe eating a rabbit.
38:00 – While fanboymaster plays Mario 64 I capture a Magic Jar. I am not certain if this is some kind of sequence breaking or something, but I don’t think I scored one here on my initial playthrough.
45:00 – Discussion of Aqua Teen Hunger Force is interrupted by Yuna. Looks like it’s time to fight a summoner.
51:00 – Yuna offers some revelations about mom… but let’s talk about Dethklok instead.
58:00 – Closing this one out as notable villain James Woods is discussed opposite the appearance of fictional villain, Plumed Knight.
What actually happened in the plot: Princess Sarah believes the only way to defeat the Bahamutian Army is to ally with the mysterious League of S, so the twins set off to do just that on behalf of Corneria. They’re heading toward Soronia for more info, but Yuna is a roadblock, because she believes Jiants once destroyed the world. After a battle, Yuna reveals that Lussa Farna was a heroine 100 years back that sealed the Demon Dyad within the Ultima Gate. Lussa Farna’s fate was lost to time, but one of her three allies, Brandelis, is now a general in the Bahamutian Army. And, oh yeah, the twins recall that Lussa Farna was their mom’s name.
Chapter 6: Chilling with the Fam
Initial Stream: 9/22/20
1:00 – Icicle Inn! And a discussion of Final Fantasy 7 Remake inevitably unfolds.
3:45 – Sherlotta is the proprietor of this inn. And she’s also a 2,000 year old catgirl from Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Echoes of Time. And I’m sure she has nothing to do with the unidentified cat that appears near the end of the update. Refia also appears (and temporarily joins that party). She is the tomboy blacksmith’s apprentice that replaces an anonymous onion kid in Final Fantasy 3 DS.
10:00 – Let’s blind some bats for fun and profit. After moogle healing last time, this is where the game really kicks into gear on “conditions” and the many ways you can capture monsters.
20:00 – It’s an icy, slidey area, which reminds us all of the glories of Alundra, a game I recently played because quarantine was causing no small amount of anxiety. It’s a great game for depression (as in, it will inflict depression upon you).
35:00 – After five minutes of juggling stat stuff, we talk about The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time speed run strategies while a boss attacks.
42:00 – Techincally Chapter 7 starts here, but we’re too busy talking about Narnia to notice. We’ve made it to Saronia Harbor, and wrapping things up when…
45:00 – A door has appeared! So we have to look at it, meeting Girl Who Forgot Her Name, which leads to a discussion of BEAT: Secret Origins.
48:00 – Quests are available! Maybe we’ll get there eventually! We’re also introduced to Champion Medals, Arma Gems, and Champion Points. This is all just a long tutorial on “you can summon things”.
52:00 – I can Summon Warrior of Light, Sephiroth, and Balthier thanks to DLC. And now for more explanations of everything. I just want to go to bed!
58:00 – After a discussion about Golden Sun, we’re at the coliseum. Please ignore the friendly tonberry that apparently isn’t going to stab anyone.
1:03:00 – And after all that, it turns out I can’t summon right now. Dammit! Maybe next time. We’ll pick back up the “real” Chapter 7 on the next update, as “Night 3” begins.
What actually happened in the plot: After meeting Sherlotta, Refia joined the party, and this trio ventured through the contractually mandated ice dungeon. There was a wolf ambush, but nothing much else of interest happened on the way to Saronia.
Back in the twins’ home dimension, Girl Who Forgot Her Name appeared, and she has the power to impart the ability to summon Final Fantasy luminaries for sidequests and attacks. Otherwise, she’s just a weird girl that drinks tea in a formless void. Also, a tonberry invited us to a coliseum for bloodshed aplenty.